I am reading a New Yorker article about self-control, and had a silly adventure the other day. So I thought I would write a little about the two. According to the article thinking about thinking is what allows people to outsmart their shortcomings. In other words, a good way to practice self-control about a given temptation is to distract yourself by thinking about something else.
The other day I went into work at 7 am (highly unusual for me) and had taken work home with me when I met up with a friend for lunch. I had already decided that I was not going back to the office after lunch, but I had several choices: go home and take a nap since I had not been sleeping well the past week, go home and finish off the two outstanding hours of work, or hang out with my friend all afternoon. I am sure there were other choices but those were the three I thought about. As it was a warm, summery day (by Dublin standards), you can guess which option I was favoring.
If you know me at all (and anyone reading this does), you already know which option I chose. Yes, I hung out with my friend. And I had fun. There was a slight difference this time from my past behavior in similar circumstances--I was less impulsive about picking the option to go with. I did think about it rationally, and weighed the pros and cons. It is not that big of a deal deciding whether to work or have fun (especially knowing that there are no ramifications on my job as I will do the work this weekend). However, there were emotional ramifications to consider and this is an area that tends to be a landmine for me.
I have made a conscious decision in the past year to avoid inappropriate relationships or non-relationships. If my budding relationship with this guy stays at friendship, there is no problem. If it becomes an emotional or romantic relationship, then it would fall into the inappropriate category. Both of us are aware of this and both would prefer the former--or so we say. Whether it is true for him or not, I really don't know.
Anyway, we had fun and have decided to just be friends. As the article explains, it is not just about the marshmallows. Read more http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer#ixzz1SFPQBt3U
